Married life might be one of the best things that could have ever happened to you, but it’s also probably not what you expected it to be! Simon Rich and Farley Katz’s ‘The Married Kama Sutra’ takes a look at what being married is really like, and it’s a hilarious look at all the silly positions that husbands, wives, and spouses get themselves into!
1. The ‘Prodding’ Position
To do this position, one partner must sit on a sofa lazily while the other partner makes a big show of cleaning underneath it to inform the couch potato that chores should be divided.
2. The ‘Dishwasher’ Position
If the ‘prodding’ positions is successful, the formerly lazy partner may attempt to load the dishwasher in order to help out. The position is completed when their spouse arrives, snatches a dish out of their hands, and informs them that they are doing it wrong.
3. The ‘Fresh Air’ Position
This is an advanced position that isn’t recommended for newlyweds! While in each other’s presence, one spouse should pass wind in front of the other without so much as an apology.
4. The ‘Comparative Analysis’ Position
You’ll need another married couple for this one! Go out to dinner with this other couple, then when they start arguing or fighting, display your tight-knit relationship by holding hands and exchanging smiles that speak of superiority.
5. The ‘2+1’ Position
While in the middle of some actual Kama Sutra, be interrupted by your child frightened of the dark and clambering into your bed. Sleep with the child between both of you.
6. The ‘Shopping’ Position
This position is done by forcefully pushing a reluctant spouse to the mall because their clothes are literally falling apart.
7. The ‘Our Kids Are at Grandma’s’ Position
The married couple leaves their kids with a babysitter and then proceeds to spend the night together for some quality time – mostly involving wine, food, and an early night in.
8. The ‘Sweet Moments of Peace’ Position
One spouse gives the other permission to spend time with their friends, and then proceeds to enjoy the entire night by themselves, relaxing and getting some much-needed time for themselves. Phew! The position may or may not involve wine, hot baths, and rare hours of serenity.
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Feature Image Source:Â The Married Kama Sutra