Movies show parenting to be quite easy and it is all picnics and lunches. However, reality is much different and you have to juggle things like arguments, pressure, errands, and frustration. With everything that goes on in your life, taking care of a child properly can be a very tough task. There are many things that can help people not to be an angry parent. One of these things is known as the Hair Tie Trick and it was started by Katie Holmes.
The Hair Tie Trick
Katie Holmes wrote the book “The (Reformed) Idealist Mom”. She wrote a post on Facebook, “Today, I tried something new. I put five hair ties on my daughter’s wrist. Her daily goal is to end every day with those five hair ties still on her wrist. Every time she said something out of anger, or was less than patient with her little ones, she would move a hair tie to the opposite wrist. To earn the tie back, she would have to say something loving to her children and complete five loving interactions.”
"Research shows that to have a healthy relationship, for every one negative interaction you need 5 positive interactions to balance that out,” explained Kelly Holmes. "It's called the Magic 5:1 Ratio,” she continued. “The idea behind the Magic 5:1 Ratio is that every negative interaction you have with your little one (which is inevitable because parenting is difficult) should be followed by five positive interactions. These types of interactions include: telling them how awesome they are, dancing in the living room, painting together, and many other things!”
An Immediate Difference
There was a difference that she noted in her attitude when she tried the trick out. "I have finished the day with all 5 bands on the original wrist. I’m very proud of myself for exercising patience with him. I know it’s only day 1 but I’m hopeful this will help our communication skills and our relationship. Unfortunately for me, I'd developed a bad habit of talking sharply to my preschooler. My brain was on autopilot headed in the wrong direction towards being an angry mother,” she recalled. As soon as she started doing the hair tie trick, Kelly quickly noticed a positive influence on how she spoke to her little one. “Months later, the hair tie hack is still working wonders. I talk to my preschooler with love and kindness in my voice instead of annoyance and frustration,” wrote Kelly.
Helps Fight Frustration
When asked why the hair tie trick had gone so viral, Kelly said, “As parents, we crave a healthy, connected relationship with our little ones. But in the chaos of modern parenting life, we can get frustrated easily and that puts a strain on our relationship with our kids. The hair ties are a simple, visible reminder to catch ourselves before we get off track. And because we’re human, it’s possible to "˜earn' the hair ties back to repair the relationship after we slip up.”
Considering Their Feelings
A lot of parents can agree to the fact that they have not always kept their cool around children. However, these are the same parents who considered becoming a parent to be the most rewarding thing in their lives. You have to balance thing out in your life and one of the best ways to do so is to be mindful of their emotions since they are not as emotionally mature as you.
Take A Break
Whenever you feel the need to burst out of anger at your child, just take a break. A few deep breaths will help you get a moment of clarity and you will feel your anger fade away. Most of the times, the anger within us is at small and irrelevant things and is not worth scarring our children forever.
Try Pretending Your Feelings
This is quite an old tradition among parents. They try to mask their anger with happiness, consoling the children at the times when they are angry. Just imagine the times when you broke something in your house and instead of getting angry, your mother just came and checked if you got hurt or not.
Listen To Melodious Music
Music has known to change many lives. It can come as a savior of your emotions as well. When you are getting frustrated and angry and it has something to do with your children, just put on a melodious song and get lost in the melody and harmony.
Walk It Off
When your blood begins to boil because of your children, choose the right way to deal with the anger. Walk out of your house. Try to take in deep breaths and focus on the greenery around you. The cool air will help you calm down and you will feel the anger fade away.
Do Something Creative
Children often make a lot of messes around the house. They will start to draw and paint on the walls. Instead of getting angry at them for ruining the decor of the house, do something creative with their sketches and make something even more beautiful out of it.
Live In The Moment
Children are known to be always full of energy and joy. They will laugh at the most inopportune moments and you might feel frustrated and envious of their perspective towards life. Instead, try stepping in their shoes. Jump into the puddle along with them and play all the games that they do.
Take Some Quiet Time
Dealing with children can be very difficult and you are always in a hurry to clean after their mess. Often, parents complain about not getting enough quiet time once their children are born. Do not be one of those guys and just try meditating and work towards self improvement.
Never shout at your children. They will absorb that behavior and will either grow up to be hateful towards you or will cower within themselves and break from within. Always have a soft tone when you are talking to your children. learn to build trust with them.
Understand Their Life
Patience does not come easy to most parents. Many a times, you will see a parent having a row with their children in a public place. They are always looking at the mistakes of their children. However, you can be different. Try to understand life from their perspective and feel what they are feeling. It will help you understand your child better.
Go With The Flow
This is a very common advice that most parents get from other parents. You just have to let things take their natural course. If your kid is acting up, let him or her drain out their energy and they will simmer down soon. Keep your calm and trust them.